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Why Most Leadership Communication Training is Backwards (And What Actually Works)
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Here's something that'll probably ruffle some feathers: after seventeen years of delivering leadership communication training across Melbourne, Sydney, and Brisbane, I reckon 68% of what passes for "communication skills" in corporate Australia is complete bollocks.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not having a go at the well-meaning HR departments who book these sessions. But when I walk into a boardroom and see another PowerPoint slide about "active listening techniques," I die a little inside.
The problem isn't that these techniques don't work. They do. Sort of. The problem is we're teaching people to communicate like robots when what actually makes leaders magnetic is their ability to be genuinely human while still getting stuff done.
The Authenticity Paradox That Nobody Talks About
I was running a session for a mining company in Perth last year (won't name names, but they dig up a lot of iron ore), and this senior manager - let's call him Dave - asked me point blank: "How do I be authentic when I have to deliver news that'll make people want to quit?"
That question stopped me cold. Because here's the thing about authentic communication that most training programs completely miss: authenticity isn't about sharing your feelings. It's about being genuinely committed to the outcome AND the people involved.
Dave didn't need to learn how to "mirror body language" or "use the person's name three times in conversation." What Dave needed was to understand that stress management starts with honest communication, even when that communication is uncomfortable.
Why "Best Practice" Communication is Often Worst Practice
Here's where I'm going to contradict myself slightly, because that's how real conversations work. While I just bagged out traditional techniques, some of them are actually brilliant. The issue isn't the techniques themselves - it's how we teach them.
Take "active listening." In every corporate training I've attended (and trust me, I've attended more than my fair share), active listening gets taught like a checklist:
- Make eye contact
- Nod at appropriate intervals
- Paraphrase what you heard
- Ask clarifying questions
Technically correct. Practically useless.
Real active listening happens when you're genuinely curious about what someone's trying to tell you. Not because you want to tick boxes, but because you actually want to understand. When you're focused on remembering to nod every thirty seconds, you're not listening - you're performing.
The Brisbane Café Revelation
Three months ago, I was grabbing coffee at this little place in Fortitude Valley (shout out to Campos Coffee - consistently excellent), and I overheard a conversation between what was obviously a manager and her team member.
The manager was doing everything "right" according to traditional communication training. Perfect eye contact. Appropriate nodding. Reflective listening statements like "What I hear you saying is..."
And the employee looked like they wanted to crawl under the table.
What Actually Works: The Uncomfortable Truth
After nearly two decades of watching leaders succeed and fail, I've noticed that the best communicators break more rules than they follow. They interrupt people. They share personal stories that have nothing to do with work. They disagree publicly with their own previous decisions.
But here's what they never do: they never make their communication about them.
The worst leaders I've worked with (and there have been some doozies) all shared one trait: they treated every conversation as an opportunity to prove how smart, important, or right they were. The best leaders treat every conversation as an opportunity to move something forward.
This is where business supervising skills become crucial. It's not about supervision as control - it's about supervision as service.
The Five-Minute Rule That Changes Everything
Want a practical technique that actually works? Here it is: the Five-Minute Rule.
Before any important conversation, spend five minutes asking yourself: "What does this person need to walk away with?" Not what you need to tell them. Not what you need them to understand. What do THEY need?
Sometimes what they need is information. Sometimes it's reassurance. Sometimes it's permission to be frustrated. And sometimes - this is the hard one - what they need is for you to shut up and let them figure it out themselves.
I learned this the hard way during a particularly disastrous team meeting in Adelaide about six years ago. I'd spent forty minutes "communicating" the new project timelines, and at the end, my project manager asked: "So what do you actually want us to do differently?"
Forty minutes of perfect communication technique. Zero actual communication.
The Technology Distraction (Because Someone Always Asks)
Yes, video calls have changed how we communicate. Yes, hybrid teams present new challenges. No, the fundamentals haven't changed.
Whether you're in a conference room in Collins Street or on a Zoom call from your kitchen table in Cairns, people still need to feel heard, understood, and valued. Technology is just the medium. The message - and more importantly, the intention behind the message - remains the same.
Stop Teaching Scripts, Start Teaching Principles
This is where most communication training goes wrong. We teach people what to say instead of teaching them how to think about what needs to be said.
I once had a client (major retailer, excellent coffee in their corporate office) whose customer service team had been trained to handle complaints using a specific script. The script was well-written, empathetic, and covered all the bases.
And customers hated it.
Because when you're frustrated about a delayed delivery or a faulty product, the last thing you want is to feel like you're talking to a robot reading from a card.
The Melbourne Weather Approach to Difficult Conversations
Melbourne weather changes constantly, right? One minute it's sunny, next minute it's hailing, then it's sunny again. Most people try to plan for the weather. Smart people carry an umbrella and dress in layers.
Difficult conversations are the same. You can't script them. But you can prepare for the unexpected by developing principles instead of protocols.
Principle one: Start with intention, not outcome. Know why you're having the conversation, but don't be attached to where it ends up.
Principle two: When in doubt, ask questions instead of making statements. "What's your sense of how this is going?" beats "Here's how this is going" ninety percent of the time.
Principle three: If you find yourself talking for more than two minutes straight, stop. Either ask a question or wrap up. Nobody's attention span is longer than a TikTok video anymore, and pretending otherwise is just setting yourself up for failure.
Why I'm Probably Wrong About Half of This
Here's something most communication trainers won't tell you: I change my mind about stuff regularly. What worked brilliantly for a tech startup in Sydney might be completely wrong for a manufacturing plant in Townsville.
Context matters more than technique. Industry matters. Company culture matters. And sometimes, despite your best intentions and perfect application of every principle I've outlined here, communication still goes sideways.
That doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. It means you're dealing with humans, and humans are gloriously unpredictable.
The Bottom Line (Finally)
Leadership communication isn't about being the smartest person in the room or having the most polished delivery. It's about being useful to the people who need to hear from you.
Sometimes that means delivering difficult news with compassion. Sometimes it means celebrating wins without taking credit. And sometimes it means admitting you don't have all the answers and asking for help figuring out the next steps.
The best communication training I can give you? Start paying attention to how you feel after conversations with different leaders. The ones who leave you feeling energised and clear about next steps? Study them. The ones who leave you feeling confused or deflated? Learn from them too.
Because at the end of the day, leadership communication isn't about perfect technique. It's about perfect intention. And that's something you can't learn from a PowerPoint slide.
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